now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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