don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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