the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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