for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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