awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize