I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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