drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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