Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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