I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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