tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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