I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I had to cum in my sink.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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