Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize