If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
