I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
