How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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