Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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