I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
