It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
