so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
