If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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