You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm going to jail i love you
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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