Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
