best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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