with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
