I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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