she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
