is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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