If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
