Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
