This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
