they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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