It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
