the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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