I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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