Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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