It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
wow bdsm is so cute
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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