I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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