THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
