you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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