My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
