Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
