i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
