So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
