yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
