ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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