At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
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