Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
