Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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