so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
