either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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