in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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