what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize