her vagine was all disorganized.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
