I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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