So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
