I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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