Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
