I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
