your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
