I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
