He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
