God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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