I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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