Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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