Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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